A Video Game is a Place

If I had to describe my brain with an image I'd choose a clock. 

Not because I am timely, or because I am exceptionally good at knowing the time, but because the passage of time is always on my mind. If I am on my phone or computer I am checking the clock religiously. If I am taking a break from screens, I am finding reasons to glance at the microwave, I am digging out an old digital wristwatch that smells of bug spray, or I'm checking the sunrise clock on my nightstand. This habit doesn't come from a sense of urgency; it's more like searching for an answer to an endless question. 

Where is the sun at? How much of the day has passed? How long did that take me? What time is it?

Firewatch (2016)

There are only a few things in life that unbraid me from this curiosity- a particularly fun event, a sufficiently challenging task, and a really good video game. 

During college, I would ask my brother to buy me a video game for Christmas and then spend my winter break trying to finish the game before I had to go back to school (and leave the PS4 behind). Before Christmas day was over I'd be learning about an ancient world by surfing on sand dunes*, talking to a woman named Delilah while walking through a National Park**, discovering a cult in a small economically depressed town***, trying to uncover the source of cement statues by solving environmental puzzles****, experiencing generations and generations of family trauma through entertaining vignettes*****, or saving a bug kingdom by getting really good at swordfighting******. 

Video games have the power to be so absorbing because you have to actively participate in the story to move it forward. It's not just something you're witnessing, it's something you're a part of. And also, video games are a place. I've been known to boot up a game just to walk around in its world. It's like I'm visiting a town I once lived in, I'll seek out familiar sights and old friends, and replay parts of the game just for the comfort of familiarity. 

Night in the Woods (2017)

During winter break, my empty weeks of free time would pass easily and quickly in this way. Frankly, it would border on obsessive. I'd skip meals, develop headaches, and accidently keep playing until soft, rosy light was filtering through the windows. The ceaseless pull of the next task kept my focus sharp and myopic. The desire to uncover the mysteries and learn the whole story kept my stamina fresh. I would not look at a clock. I would not consider the passage of time. 

If I'm being honest, I think they'd become so consuming because I wanted to be consumed by them. I missed my college, both my friends and the physical place, when I came home for breaks. I missed having things to do and people to see, I missed how easy it was to have new experiences, and all the freedom a walkable campus can afford a 20-year-old.  I didn't want to let loneliness take over my time, so I chose video games instead. 

Hollow Knight (2017)

This has been on my mind because soon, at approximately 12:00 am on September 4th, 2025, a video game I've been waiting six years for is going to be released*******. The build-up to this game has been... silly. Sometimes the internet is a silly place, you know. And announcing a video game and then providing basically zero updates about it for six years is also a silly thing to do, you know. But this wait has also felt deeply communal. And exciting. In the same way that New Year's Eve can be exciting because there are a bunch of other people watching the clock-- just like you are. 

So, I'm staying awake till after midnight to play the game for a bit. I'm not trying to stave off any loneliness, and I'm not going to play it for long (I'm setting a 30-minute timer and going to bed as soon as it goes off).  But I am hoping to have an experience that feels new. And to celebrate the mundane delight of adulthood-- I make my own money, I can fuck up my bedtime for a video game if I want too!

Silksong (2025)

*Journey (2012) Thatgamecompany
**Firewatch (2016) Camp Santos (RIP Camp Santos wish you hadn't been bought out by a shitty triple-A company) 
*** Night in the Woods (2017) Infinite Fall and Secret Lab 
****The Witness (2016) Thekla, Inc (this game is actually terrible but I put a lot of time into it so it must be on the list)
*****What Remains of Edith Finch (2017) Giant Sparrow
******Hollow Knight (2017) Team Cherry (my beloved <3)
*******Silksong (2025) Team Cherry