Thirty Thoughts Upon Turning Thirty

I spent my birthday being introspective. Three decades felt like a good time to take stock of where I am and where I've been, and what I know. I started one of those "30 things I've learned at 30" list but quickly stopped because that felt like too much pressure! Everything I've learned seems too specific to my personality or whatever circumstances I was in to be doled out like advice. Instead, here are 30 thoughts. They might resemble opinions, or recommendations, or advice, but they are just thoughts. 

1. Coca-Cola oreos are not good. In fact, all oreos that aren't just regular oreo flavor are not good. 
2. I Saw the TV Glow is good. (ty Isabel and Emma for the recommendation) Most reviews I saw said that the less you know about the movie before viewing it the better, and I agree. But I do have two things to say. 1) I haven't seen such a visceral movie in a long time. My skin sometimes felt jumpy and I often just could not stop looking at whatever was happening on the screen. So many of the visuals stayed with me long after the scene was over 2) This movie knows what it is and knows what story it is telling and it was such a pleasure to sit down and trust that the next 1 hour and 40 minutes were going to take me somewhere and make me feel something. 
3. For reasons related to this blogpost I got back on tumblr briefly. I had forgotten I used to read creative non-fiction essays regularly. I can see the mark a lot of them have left on my life. But this is the one I returned to the most. Several quotes from it are saved as screenshots on my phone. 
4. Listen to Medium Build's EP Health- Live from RCA Stuido A. All of his songs are about connection. This EP in particular shows off his ability to write about meaningful moments that arise while you are living a mundane life. Also, yesterday on Instagram he released a snippet of a new song and I commented 'god damn' and he responded 'exactly'. Yes, I am smitten. Who can deny the high of acknowledgment from a stranger you admire? 
5. Sour cream is an underrated condiment. 
6. Streeeetcchhhhh
7. Keep sunscreen in your car
8. Also, wear sunscreen 
9. Buy yourself flowers. Buy yourself fun mugs. Buy yourself pretty art. 
10. American Imperialism is a scourge. The military will recruit citizens of the country they're fighting with by promising asylum in the U.S. Then they'll let those people fight their own country, get shrapnel in their legs, and develop conditions for lifelong health problems. After that, they'll deny them asylum. As insidious as it is unsurprising. 
11. Anger is volatile. For much of my life I thought I had no use for anger. But it does in fact, have the most to teach me. Nothing lights a fire as well as something volatile. 
12. If you're trying to create things, all of the other advice is correct. Making things on a consistent routine is more important than inspiration. But don't neglect the things that inspire you. Creating while you're dosed in inspiration feels like nothing else.  
13. Oven to 450 degrees. Root vegetables cut into small cubes. Little olive oil, salt, and pepper. Laid in one layer on a baking sheet. 20-30 minutes, flipping them in the middle. 
14. I have the best method for washing dishes. Ready, here goes. Put soap and hot water in a small bowl, one about the size of the sponge or rag you're using. Wash the less greasy items first, rinsing your sponge in between items and then dipping it in the bowl a few times so the soap keeps getting sudsy. When you get to the greasy dishes pour a little of the soap water on them before you start washing to help cut the grease. 
15. Watching Chris Thile, a musician I've listened to for a decade and a half, get up and play at a bar I have years worth of fond memories for felt like unlocking a new level of special. Realizing a dream I hadn't thought of yet.  
16. The best snack is half melted butter on warm sourdough
17. It's always worth it to read Mary Oliver's Wild Geese.
18. Find things that bring you back to childhood. Devote time to revisiting your younger self. 
19. I love Rothko's art. I love what he was trying to accomplish with it. 
20. Start traditions, embrace rituals, stick to habits. Finding ways to return to a place, feeling, or a self can give you stability when you need it. 
21. It's okay to feed some of your neurosies. I have a playlist that is the studio version of a song followed by the acoustic version of the same song. I've been known to listen to it for a few hours at a time. Sometimes I listen to a song just to get to a specific part and then I restart the song until it reaches that part again. And I do that 10- 15 times in a row. When I have a pocket that is lined with a slippery fabric I will rub the fabric between my fingers repeatedly until something feels correct. Sometimes I need to put my head below my heart. It just fixes things. 
22. I love this youtube video
23. And in a different way, this one too
24. the moon :') 
25. Do you ever think about magnets? What are they? 
26. WOW! The passage of time is sweet. Getting to know people again and again?! Getting to know myself again and again?! How rad! How cool! 
27. Disappoint people. Get used to other people's disappointment. Don't get used to your own disappointment.  
28. If all you do with your life is spend time with people you love that's a good life. 
29. 30/90 is a good song to listen to when you're 29 or 30. It comes from Jonathan Larson's musical Tick, Tick... BOOM! (which became a netflix movie in 2021) It's an autobiographical story about Jonathan trying to decide if he should keep chasing his dream of being on Broadway, despite having no success, or if he should marry this girl he loves and have a more "normal" life. It also dives into the feeling of running out of time, of thinking you're not at the milestones you should be at, of wondering if you've made any right choices ever. It's vibrant and fun and sad and specific to Jonathan's life, and tells a pretty typical story. Jonathan performed Tick, tick... BOOM! a handful of times in workshops and at festivals, but it never found a consistent audience. A few years later Jonthan's musical Rent went into production to be performed off-broadway. He'd done it. Rent would go on to make a Broadway debut and, arguably, change the landscape of what a musical could be.  Right before the opening night of Rent, the first open night, still in its off-broadway run, Jonathan died. He had an undiagnosed heart condition. Tick, tick... BOOM! becomes tragically prescient in the modern day. While Jonathan's life was too short, I don't think he ran out of time. I think he held every moment he had.
30. Do you think people who are 108 or 112 are actually just wrong about what year they were born in?